Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Terrible, terrible things have happened in California...

My friends, a horrible thing happened to me tonight. I shudder upon remembering the details, but the world must know. The blog must go on...

So I am working on a jam in my room, amp cranked. I lay down a few tracks, get a nice little beat going, then realize I am hungry. Real hungry. I decide to give my ears a short break from the sonic pounding and shimmy on into the kitchen. I decide upon some toast. Then I think to myself, "how wonderful it would be to have some cream cheese and jelly." So, I rummage through the refridgerator...YES! BOTH ITEMS! A quick glance at the cream cheese assures it is of the regular variety. And the jelly? None other than Smuckers Strawberry. Mmmmm...

I grab my toast out of the toaster (ahh, so THAT'S where the name came from...), secure a knife and pop open the cream cheese.


Sprinkled throughout the cheese spread is revolting chunks of vegetable. Another glance at the tub, and it still says Regular. But next to the regular it says "Chives and Onions" WTF?! Why would it say REGULAR and CHIVES AND ONIONS. Those are two different things. It's like saying, "Hey, here is a normal Toyota Camry. Except with no engine. But it's still normal." No, that guy is an idiot. Regular does not equal Chives and Onions.

I am in the house alone at this point and let out an audible sigh of defeat. "Oh no. Now what?" My sorrow was so great at that moment that nothing could delight me. Not even if Kiera Knightly and Halle Berry showed up and had a girl fight over who loved me more. Well, actually, let's not be ridiculous. Kiera and Halle > Regular cream cheese. But if only ONE of them showed up, I still think I would be pretty sad.

Thanks to my college degree, I'm a quick thinker and able to problem solve on the spot. So I decide to smother the toast in Smucker's and make a little jelly sandwhich. I complimented the sandwich with some apple sauce.

The good news? I have a JAM stored up on this ol' computer of mine. Still in the early phases, but I'm pretty excited about it. I'm hoping to have an EP with 5 - 6 songs by Christmas time, so all of you North Carolina folks, go ahead and put aside $5. You know your gonna want one.

P.S. - For other horrible tales of snacking and dining gone wrong, check out Julian's blog about the incident with the sandwich making. Highly entertaining.