Last night I was killing time watching TV. I was planning on picking up my roomie Sean at LAX airport at 12:30 AM. My other roomie Chris gives me a call because he got split up with his friends down in Universal City. So, I decide to do a little tag-team taxi and pick up Chris on the way to get Sean.
I finally arrive at the corner where Chris was waiting for me. I see him talking with a rather large male who looks pretty distraught. Chris motions the man to the car and they both get in. Chris in the front and our new friend "J-Mack" in the back seat. Now, J-Mack has had quite a few drinks. On top of that, he keeps saying the cops just robbed him, taking all of his money and ID. We decide to give him a ride home on the way to the airport.
About 5 minutes into the ride, J-Mack somehow becomes convinced that Chris and I robbed him. Seriously. He is cussing at us and just getting angry. We try to talk to him rationally, but it isn't working. He starts telling us about how we are lucky he doesn't have a gun or he would shoot us for robbing him. He then says that when we drop him off, we are to wait in front of his house while gets his shotgun so that he can come back out and rob us. Tip for the crooks out there: Don't tell your "victims" your plans. Anyhoo, I am a little freaked out, but J-Mack is actually too drunk and incoherent to really do anything himself. I was just afraid he was going to direct us to some of his buddies house where we would have some trouble.
Anyway, we keep driving to try and find where J-Mack stays. At one point, he leans up and tries to open Chris' passenger door while we are in motion. We push him back down, and he mumbles something about throwing us out of our own car. By now I am frustrated because he is being totally un-cooperative. We stop at a gas station and try to let him out, which convinces him further we are "messing with him," and he won't get out.
On his directions, we drive to a little street with some modest houses. He rolls down the window and starts cat-calling at one house. After a short while, he gives up on this and directs us further down the street.
Eventually we arrive where he needs to go, after many empty threats of him choking us both out. At this point, Sean has been at the airport about 45 minutes already, and we are at least 10 miles away still. Once we arrive, J-Mack starts grabbing whatever he can in my car, talking about how he is gonna "rob us for taking his s***." Luckily, I had cleaned out my car that day, so all he got was a Starbucks apron covered in spoiled milk and a broken air pump for an air mattress. He steps out of the car, but continues to lean on the car and won't shut the door. At this point, I tell Chris to hold on to the open back door. I check the traffic lanes and floor it, swerving to not hit the parked car in front of me with the ajar back door. Luckily, J-Mack's reaction time was still pretty affected by the alcohol and I think we were already turning on the next street before he knew what had happened.
All in all, it was a pretty intense time. But it ended up OK. We got him to his home and have a great story to tell. A few weeks ago I grabbed an extra SB apron from the store, so perhaps this is karma.
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